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Quality Entertainment

So I had originally set out to make this blog a launch pad for a podcast about movies. Not horror movies, but movies in general. However I tend to watch a fair amount of horror. Recently though I had a guys night with a buddy. We drank Jager, lots of beer and watched a few movies.


INSTANT JUSTICE

     One great thing about Netflix Instant as of late is that they have been releasing out of print and hard to find movies from the 70's and 80's. One of these title is Instant Justice aka Marine Issue.


What can I say about this movie? Plenty. It's like watching an extended A-Team episode. Michael Pare, who is not known for his acting skills takes point as U.S. Marine Sergeant Scott Youngblood who has arrived in Spain looking for his little sister. After finding out she has been murdered and was involved in a prostitution ring and aided by a limping photographer with ties to the king pimp and a prostitute played by Tawny Kitaen (and her hair) Scott exacts revenge on those responsible.

This film is pure cheese. Pare mumbles his way through the lead delivering lines like a punch drunk Rocky Balboa with Downs Syndrome. The action sequences are so poorly choreographed is make Mexican Wrestling look like a ballet. I've seen better gun play between 6 year olds.

See what I mean about the hair?

The acting is horrible. Tawny Kitaen is actually the best thing about this movie and SPOILER (not like anyone cares) after a car chase and the pimps vehicle being flipped by a plane and leaking gasoline Tanwy Kitaen arrives with Maj. Davis (Charles Napier). They congratulate Scott for defeating the bad guys and give Scott back his Desert Eagle that Maj. Davis confiscated earlier in the film. Scott hands it off to Kitaen who "accidently" fires the gun into the flipped over vehicle and BOOM! the car explodes killing the pimp. After a "oops, my bad" moment everyone is all smiles and chuckles and the film ends.

Would I watch this again. HELL YES!! It's pure 80's action cheese and bad fashion.

Updates and What Nots

     I was actually surprised by the fact that it's been almost a year to the day since I last updated this blog. How times flies. Well, I am going to have to put the podcast idea on the back burner for a while since I returned to college this fall and the possibility I may be loosing my job making which may make my meager finances even more strained. I'll know more about that in a about a week.

So let's get to the important stuff - What have I been watching?

Recently I revisited Elvira: Mistress of the Dark  the 1988 film by the lovely lady in black. So this will never be considered a horror classic but it's fun and a great way to waste time.

I also revisited Freddy vs. Jason again, another great time waster and well, it has some great kills.

I also had a chance to see the much talked about, maligned and censored Serbian Film. My gut reaction was typical, disgust and distaste and the feeling of needing to have my soul take an acid bath. However I think I might venture to watch this film again to get past the sexual violence and depravity and see if there really is a diamond in all this rough. I figure I watch Mum & Dad so watching this again can't be that bad.

For Christmas my girlfriend got me Chiefs the 1983 mini series based on Stuart Woods' novel of the same name. If you aren't familiar with this story it takes place in the deep south in the 20's and runs through the 60's as a serial killer preys on boys in the small town of Delano, Georgia. My dad had a crappy VHS copy of Chiefs recorded directly from TV when I was younger. What sticks out most of all in my mind is a scene where Wayne Rogers discovers his son playing with his service revolver. To teach the boy that the pistol is not a toy he shoots a watermelon, blowing it to pieces. My dad was in law enforcement and I always wished that he would do something as cool as this.

Well, that's about it for now. As I remember more of this past year I will post more.




I promise.

The Strain

The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book is a new take on the vampire genre. In a world of sexy, soft vampires, these are scary, blood thirsty brutal creatures. I can't wait for book two to hit the shelves. One thing I enjoyed about this novel is that it answers the questions posed in the original story while leaving the reader wanting more with hints of the rest of the story. Who knew there are vampires in Amish country? 

View all my reviews >>

Long Time Gone

Ok, so it's been a while since I updated, which is a personal bummer since I had been updating fairly frequently. Life catches up with you and you do the best you can to stay a head of the game but it doesn't always work out. That doesn't mean I haven't been watching movies.


Let's see....

There was GNAW - a British flick about a cannibalist killer staring a bunch of 20-somethings I couldn't give a rats fat @$$ about and was glad when they started getting killed off. There is the "edgy" girl with a secret and when we find out what the secret is I could already guess her fate.

The movie does something I hate because I find that it underminds my intelligence. The opening credits start with missing posters and newspaper articles and focus on one girl, who again appears as two of the characters eat at a burger roach coach with the male character staring hard and studying the missing poster.

So when her picture is found among the killer's layer there was no need to have the flashback showing this character looking at the missing poster again. I think the average audience is intelligent enough to realize it's the same girl. And you'd think with a premise this brutal that there would be more gore. Frankly the breakfast scene of blood sausage was more stomach turning than anything else in this movie. And the pacing drags a bit too. All in all I'd say watch it if there's nothing else on, otherwise, just watch Dawn of the Dead again.

Zombieland

This past Friday I went with my teenage cousin and my girlfriend to see Zombieland. There is a great deal of info and reviews on the web right now so instead of adding too it I'm just going to say. GO SEE THIS MOVIE! NOW! I haven't laughed like that in a while and my only complaint is a personal one.

I don't really like Bill Murray.

Masters of Horror: Homecoming

I've been listen to a number of old and current podcasts lately that have talked about this episode of Masters of Horror. One podcast raved about it while another wants to kick Joe Dante in the balls for making such a heavy handed political statement in an otherwise good zombie flick. Personally I just want to kick Joe Dante in the balls for not respecting the very people he is writing about. What do i mean by this, well here's a quick run down of the plot and I'll tell you where he went unforgivably wrong.


Here's the brief synopsis from Netflix:

"In the politicized chiller Homecoming, dead soldiers come back to life to get in one last word -- by voting in the presidential election. While the U.S. is at war overseas, a political puppet says it'd be great if the martyrs of war could return to express their gratitude for serving their country. Unfortunately, he gets his wish, and the dead aren't all that grateful."


The political puppet beign spoke of is David Murch who is a political consultant for the President of the United States. He also brings up his deceased brother who was killed in Viet Nam. This little bit add a small side story and my biggest complaint. Murch and his mother go to his brother's grave and it clearly says "Lance Corporal Phillip Murch". Later (SPOILER ALERT) when his brother comes back he is wearing an Army uniform with a big 1st Calvary patch on his left arm.

Call any Marine and Soldier and your libel to get a swift kick in the rear.

I grew up in a military town. My father, uncle and two of my cousin are Marines. I have several friends in various branches of the military all of whom have been to various parts of the Middle East. So it pisses me off when a director can't take 20 mintues out of the day to fix something that anyone who has ever been close to the military would notice.

You can say it's trivial but for me, it matters.